Some are even surprised by the intensity of their emotions. The fact is, it’s common to experience a bout of depression or mood swings after you’ve weaned from breastfeeding. The problem is that so few women talk about this experience, which can make it all the more confusing and isolating. So, what is post-weaning depression? How do you know if you have it, and what can be done to make weaning a less emotionally tumultuous experience?
What Is Post-Weaning Depression?
Post-weaning depression is experienced by many mothers after they have weaned their child from breastfeeding. As of now, the phenomenon hasn’t been researched extensively, but there are many anecdotal stories of mothers sinking into intense depressions following weaning, and many lactation consultants observe the experience frequently among the mothers they treat. Post-weaning depression may occur concurrently with postpartum depression, but it’s a distinct experience. Most importantly, post-weaning depression is linked in time with the ending of breastfeeding, whereas postpartum depression (PPD) is linked with the birthing of a baby (and up to a year after the birth). Here are some ways to differentiate between the two.
Postpartum Depression
PPD is a clinical diagnosis affecting about 1 in 9 women in the first year after giving birth.Most instances occur within the first month or so after birth (initial onset can begin shortly before or after delivery, or present up to 6 to 12 months postpartum).Symptoms may include feelings of sadness, hopelessness, disconnection from your baby, irritability, obsessive thoughts, and in severe cases, suicidal ideation (This is not an exhaustive list).Some cases pass on their own, but most require treatment with therapists or other medical professions.
Post-Weaning Depression
Post-weaning depression occurs within a few days or a week after breastfeeding has ceased.The symptoms can be similar to those associated with postpartum depression (sadness, hopelessness, irritability), but they usually aren’t as severe and don’t usually require clinical evaluation.Post-weaning depression is usually short-lived and passes once hormones become balanced.
Causes of Post-Weaning Depression
Post-weaning depression is caused by a combination of physiological factors, situational dynamics, and emotional triggers. Although each mother experiences post-weaning depression differently—and some women experience it minimally or not at all—the mood swings that happen after weaning can usually be attributed to a few distinct causes. Here is an overview of the specific causes.
Shift in Hormones
Breastfeeding your baby releases a cocktail of “feel good” hormones—prolactin and oxytocin—that can lift your mood and bring feelings of peace and tranquility. Prolactin, which supports milk production, is known for producing feelings of relaxation and inducing sleep. Oxytocin, the hormone that causes your milk to letdown, is often called “the love hormone” and helps you bond to your baby and generally feel uplifted. After weaning, levels of these hormones drop significantly. If weaning happened abruptly, it may feel like you aren’t getting your “fix” of those happy hormones. Research has found that breastfeeding protects some mothers from depression, so it stands to reason that ending it could lead to mood shifts and depressive feelings.
Return of Your Period
If your period hasn’t yet returned, you may find that it does shortly after you wean your baby. This is also a major hormone shift for you. As your body adjusts, you may find that your cycles are irregular and that your PMS symptoms are more intense than usual. This hormonal shift may contribute to your feelings of irritability, anger, and depression.
Change in Your Identity
Even if you were looking forward to weaning and weaned by choice, ending your time as a breastfeeding mom is a momentous shift in your identity. For the time that you were breastfeeding, you shared your body with your baby in a significant way. It’s likely that your life revolved around nursing or pumping for your baby. As stressful as that may have been at times, it gave your life a special purpose, and you may be feeling discomfort and angst about what your mommy-role will look like now.
Emergence of Guilt
Again, even if weaning was something you were excitedly waiting for, it’s normal to have some mixed emotions when it finally happens. If you weren’t able to nurse as long as you wanted to—or if life circumstances made it difficult to maintain breastfeeding—you might be feeling guilt and regret over how weaning happened. This will be even more likely if you weaned before you were ready, or felt forced or coerced to do so in some way.
Symptoms
Each mother experiences post-weaning depression differently. Most women experience feelings of sadness or general unhappiness, but others describe it as more of a period of irritability or anxiety. There is no one way that you are “supposed" to feel. Post-weaning depression simply means that you are experiencing extreme emotions and mood swings concurrent with weaning your baby. Some women even describe it as “really bad PMS.” Common symptoms include:
AnxietyDepressionDifficulty concentratingFeeling extra weepy and sensitiveGriefGuiltIrritabilityLack of interest in activities that you used to enjoyLack of motivationMood swings
Prevention
There is no surefire way to prevent post-weaning depression. After all, whenever and however you wean from breastfeeding, you are going to experience a hormonal shift. Even when moms wean when they choose to and on their own terms, it’s normal to experience a kind of mourning as you let go of a special time in your life as a mom. There are, however, a few things you can do to help minimize the symptoms.
Wean Gradually
You will experience much less of a hormonal crash if you wean very gradually. Weaning that lasts several weeks rather than just a week or a few days is much easier on your system. You can drop a feeding once every few days or even less often until you are done nursing or pumping for your baby.
Wean on Your Own Terms
Moms who take ownership of the weaning process and don’t give in to peer pressure—from friends, family, or even medical professionals—about how long they should nurse generally feel less conflicted after weaning their babies. People around you will have very strong feelings about how long it’s appropriate for you to nurse. But nursing for many months or even years is healthy for you and your child. Only you can know when the right time is to end the nursing relationship, and when you do it on your own timetable, you will be able to do so confidently, and with more ease.
Talk About Your Feelings
Some mothers who experience post-weaning depression feel reluctant to share how they are feeling with others. They may feel that they don’t want to burden their loved ones or they may believe they are overreacting to weaning. However, talking about your feelings with trusted friends or family members is one of the best ways to feel better.
How Long Does It Last?
Post-weaning depression should only last a month or so, as your hormones adjust and you acclimate to your new normal as a non-breastfeeding mother. If after a month or so, your feelings of depression and moodiness don’t subside, speak to your healthcare provider about seeking mental health help, or a medical evaluation. You don’t have to wait for a full month to do this, though. If post-weaning depression is making it difficult for you to function in your day-to-day life or if you are experiencing suicidal ideation, you should seek medical attention right away.
What Can I Do to Feel Better?
Post-weaning depression usually passes on its own as your body and emotions adjust. But that doesn’t mean you just have to grin and bear it. Here are some things you can do to make this period easier and more manageable.
Eat Well and Rest When Possible
As your body adjusts to its new hormonal makeup, it helps to nourish yourself with wholesome foods, drink plenty of fluids, and sneak in as much rest as possible. This can be easier said than done when you are taking care of a baby or a young child. But do your best to take care of yourself. After all, you can’t pour from an empty cup, and as you are going through this transition, you need all the extra TLC you can get.
Substitute With Lots of Cuddles
Breastfeeding is more than a feeding method, and when you wean, you may miss the extra closeness and snuggles you get with your little ones. But breastfeeding doesn’t have to mean the end of those cuddles. You can still make feeding time a bonding experience between yourself and your child. If you have a baby, you can still do skin-to-skin while bottle-feeding (as a bonus, skin-to-skin naturally releases some of those “feel good” hormones you might be missing). This will also help ease the transition for your child, and when your child is happier, you will probably feel better too.
Seek Help From a Therapist
There is never any shame in making an appointment with a mental health professional. You don’t have to go into therapy full-time to reap its benefits: Some therapists will help you short-term if you are experiencing a mental health disruption like post-weaning depression. Meeting with a therapist is something that almost all moms find beneficial at one time or another. If your therapist feels your situation would be helped by medication, this is also something you can discuss.
A Word From Verywell
If you are experiencing post-weaning depression, you are far from alone. Weaning your baby is no small thing: It changes your body chemistry quite dramatically, and it can elicit many strong emotions. It’s easy to feel shame about what you are experiencing, but there is nothing wrong with you. At the same time, if your feelings are very intense or you are finding it difficult to care for yourself or your baby, you shouldn’t delay in getting help. Most cases of post-weaning depression are difficult, but they diminish on their own. In some cases, however, they trigger a period of depression that needs therapeutic treatment. Either way, post-weaning depression is a time to learn to make self-care a priority and to honor your body and your feelings as much as possible. You are worth it.
