Not only can this drive daughters right to the brink of insanity, but it also turns them into dependent women. And dependent women, according to Dr. Charney Herst, are sullen, angry, and hostile individuals toward their mother. Independent daughters are more gracious, helpful, and cooperative. Mothers must learn that 1) they cannot solve their daughters’ problems, nor do they have the right to, and 2) assuming the role of rescuer is a no-win situation and can turn their daughters into angry victims of their good intentions.
The No-Win Triangle of Rescuers
A succinct way to view the no-win dynamics of rescuers and victims is by applying the Karpman Drama Triangle. The rescuer mom in the end can do no right and is persecuted by the daughter for not doing enough or doing it wrong.
